"Diagnosed for bipolar 7 years ago - was put on prozac, zoloft, lithium, depakote, ritalin and other drugs over a four year period"

Diagnosed for bipolar 7 years ago - was put on prozac, zoloft, lithium, depakote, ritalin and other drugs over a four year period - all with side effects. Did the normal 6-8 week withdrawal and became suicidal. Last medication the pdoc gave was paxil. One evening I forgot to take dosage, woke up in the morning with hand paralysis (I am a professional violinist, BIG TERROR). Took paxil and within 20 minutes could bend fingers. Rapid and mixed cycling became worse to the point that I finally told the pdoc I wanted off - he agreed that I was having an extreme reaction to this drug. After a month the depression got worse and then had a major rapid cycling event in an hour - knew that this drug was bad news. That night began night terrors, slept 1.5-3 hours per night for a month. GI tract stopped functioning, had to eat rice, broth, steamed veggies. If I ate anything solid, it came through the intestines solid (sorry for the graphic detail but true). Would wake up in the middle of the night in hysteria. Then my legs would feel as if they were hooked up to an electrical battery - could feel energy going down legs like what you would see in the old Frankenstein movies. I knew this was dangerous because my mother, who was also bipolar, died in withdrawal from other medications in the early 80's and had the same reactions the month before she died (heart stopped from exhaustion). Worst part was, because of exhaustion, lost temper with colleague because of my terror and his insensitivity to how sick I was (he had been support person). He filed grievance, suspended from work, had breakdown while pdoc out of country. This was all 2 years ago in February. I am just now starting to be "normal" though the pdoc now has diagnosed me as having Postraumatic Stress Disorder from what I experienced. I am using bodywork/massage therapy, polarity therapy, ayurvedic medicine all under the supervision of the same pdoc. He has told me that I am doing incredibly well. I actually think that I am LESS depressed than ever!

-- submitted by Orty, 47