Monday, September 8, 2008

Stress Management: Breathing

Have you ever concentrated on your breathing, while going through the daily mundane chores of life? For most of you, breathing is an unconscious activity that you tend to take for granted. You may have noticed that for a lot of activities and sports you need to concentrate on your breathing. Controlling your breathing is crucial for effective performance. That is why breathing exercises are amongst the most useful and popular relaxation techniques. The more you use this method the more you will begin to appreciate its effectiveness and reap rich rewards from it.

Despite the fact that breathing is one of the most vital functions of your body it is not only a concept that is not well-understood but is also done improperly. It can affect the way you feel, both mentally and physically. Breathing can also affect your emotional and physical feelings. Breathing right can help in reducing anxiety, depression, irritability, muscle tension and fatigue. It can improve your vitality, your thinking and even how your skin looks!

What happens when you breathe incorrectly? Because an insufficient amount of fresh air reaches your lungs, your blood is not properly purified or oxygenated. Products that should have been removed are still in circulation, slowly poisoning your system. Digestion gets hampered. The bodily organs and tissues become undernourished and deteriorate. Poorly oxygenated blood also contributes to the states of anxiety, depression and fatigue, and makes each a stressful situation harder to cope with. Thus proper breathing habits are essential for good mental and physical health.There are basically two kinds of breathing:

Chest breathing: This is characterized by an upward, outward movement of the chest wall. The breath is shallow, jerky and unsteady. It is usually seen when the body is aroused by certain challenging or stressful situations. There is a direct relationship between the mind and breathing. Unless this shallow and jerky breathing is replaced by deep and even abdominal breathing, the body will continue to be in a state of constant arousal and tension.

Abdominal breathing: This is also referred to as diaphragmatic breathing, since it involves the diaphragm. The diaphragm is a sheet of muscle that separates the chest activity from the abdomen. When you breathe in, the diaphragm contracts and pushes downwards. This relaxes the abdominal muscles.

When you breath out, the diaphragm relaxes and the abdominal muscles contract to expel the impure air. It is the most efficient type of breathing, because it enhances greater expansion and ventilation of the lungs. It also improves circulation. When you are calm and relaxed, you breathe abdominally. Learn to breathe correctly and you will feel a marked difference in your life.

Avoiding Exam Stress

How do you know if you are suffering from examination stress or not? Broadly speaking, you can have three types of symptoms -- psychological, physical and bodily symptoms.

Psychological symptoms would include your inability to concentrate on your work, getting angry at the slightest pretext, feeling tense, brooding and being unable to relax. Physical symptoms include feeling tired, being unable to sleep, a feeling of throwing up, indigestion and sweaty palms.
Other common symptoms include eating chocolates, drinking loads of coffee, neglecting your looks, biting your nails, pulling your hair and tapping your fingers on the table. If you have most of these symptoms, then you are stressed out. Here are a few tips on how to avoid exam stress:

Acknowledge the problem: The first and foremost rule of beating stress is to acknowledge the fact that ‘yes I do have a problem’. Identify the problem, or else you are not going to know what you are dealing with.

Get help: Once the problem is identified then you need to get help. You can go to anybody who you feel comfortable with. For example, ask a teacher or a tutor on how to organize your material or on how to revise.

Take short tests: Self-testing is a very good assessment of judging where you stand. Remember you are doing this for yourself so don’t fool yourself. Assess yourself and then work on your weak points.

Plan your work: Make a detailed timetable and plan out your work. This will also give you a good perspective as to where you stand.

Stay healthy: You may neglect your health during exam time. However, it is important to eat well and get enough sleep in order to put in your hundred per cent.

Exercise: Sitting on your table all day long will make you dull and difficult for you to retain everything. You must exercise, go for a walk and get a breath of fresh air to keep your batteries charged.
Be positive: Do not waste your energies on negative thoughts such as, "What if I fail, or don’t finish my paper on time or don’t remember anything." This will only make things worse for you. Concentrate on your work and don’t hassle yourself thinking about the future.

Be alert: You must be totally alert while studying and should have nothing troubling you at the back of your mind.
Don’t be too relaxed: Some amount of stress is positive and will make you work harder.

Do your best: At the end, what’s important is that you give your exams your best shot and leave the rest to your teachers.
Remember the more stressed you are, the more difficult the period of exams will be for you. It is in your hands to control your stress. Follow these simple rules and do it now.

Your Guide to Stress Free Working

"My boss is always picking on me, my colleagues think I am footloose and fancy free, I am always discriminated against because of my sex, my views are often ignored… all this because I am single and working…oh the travails of a single working woman."

Is this your story? Today, as more and more women aspire for top positions, social and gender prejudices have become all the more glaring. So what are you doing about it? Suffering in silence and being victimised for no reason, or taking some proactive steps to counter the critics. There's no law that says that you can't be single and working and happy, all at the same time. Here's how to get started:

1. Get Organised
Organise your work in such a way that nobody ever gets a chance to point fingers at you. You will feel a spurt of new confidence creeping in and people will start respecting you. Follow the dictum 'People get to you only if you let them' so it is all in your hands. Don't give anybody a chance to say anything by keeping yourself updated and organized.

2. Be Assertive
Learn to stand up for yourself and assert your views. You are a mature young woman of the 21st century who wants to make her own space in the professional world, so don't take everything lying down? Charge forward, air your thoughts and opinions, make your presence felt by sheer dint of hard work and your intelligence. Assert yourself when you know you are right and just watch the balance tilt in your favour.

3. Learn to ignore
Turn a blind eye to things that don't affect you directly and you will be better off. Remember ignorance is bliss. Of course, don't make this a universal rule.

4. Speak your mind
Remember people will take advantage of you if you let them, so sit up and speak your mind. Nothing and nobody can stop you if you are in the right. Only don't be rude or step on anybody's toes! Be soft spoken and amiable and if you are right, you will be heard.

5. Say NO when you have to
Learn to say NO. There is absolutely no need to accept social invitations from colleagues or requests to finish off somebody else's work. If you always feel cornered into agreeing to some issues, remember that it is in your hands to not get cornered.

6. Confront the culprits
If somebody in the office is trying to act funny or get too close, be it the boss or a colleague, tell them frankly that it is in bad taste. Being single does not mean that you are fair game. If you feel that there are hands brushing against you or some one forever banging into you then it is time to confront them. Just tell them to watch where they are going and to keep their hands in their pockets loud enough so that the entire staff hears you!

7. Don't get involved in office politics
Colleagues might try to involve you in office politics and groupism, but the best policy is to stay neutral. Avoid gossip and gossipmongers and concentrate on your work.

8. Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and leverage them to your advantage. Work on your weaknesses and gradually improve them.

9. Always look confident
Always have an air of confidence about you even if you are all jittery inside. Only beware of not being overconfident!

10. Be proud of yourself
Last but not the least, be proud of what and who you are. You are a beautiful, intelligent, single woman determined to create your own niche in today's world. So just stay focused, go ahead and do it!

Think of Indira Gandhi, Margret Thatcher, Benazir Bhutto - three women of steel who fought against all odds and changed the face of history. If they could do it, so can you!

Simple Tips: Unleash the Power of Positive Thinking

It’s Monday morning. Sanjay is edgy and worried. He has to make an important presentation in front of the top management team, for which he has been working through the weekend. He says to himself: "I am dreading this. What should I do? Will the top brass rip apart my presentation? Will I be able to answer their questions or not? May be they won’t like my presentation."


Sanjay is definitely making things difficult for himself by harboring negative thoughts in his mind. To make himself feel better all he has to do is some positive thinking. He should say to himself: "This presentation is going to go off well. I have worked hard on this and I know it is good. I know my work and I will be able to keep them interested."


Thinking positively will change your attitude and make you positive. It will help you cope with the pressure and the stress that is taking the toil on your body due to the constant reminder that you find a task difficult and you won’t be able to do it. You can become positive by constantly talking to yourself and motivating yourself. This is known as self-talk.


Self-Talk


This is a process of endless monologue, which you carry inside your head. It influences the way you perceive things and the message that you give to yourself. Self-talk can either be positive or negative. There are two ways at looking at every situation.


For Example:


Car problem on the way to office
" Damn this old car. I'll miss all my meetings. It's hopeless". You can change this to: " Bad time for a problem. Maybe if I call office and let someone know, they can start the meeting and I will join in as soon as possible."
Anticipation of a presentation
" What if I blow it? What if nobody laughs at the opening joke? What if they ask about…. I hate talking to groups." You can change this to: " This ought to be a challenge. I'll take a deep breath and relax. I am sure they will enjoy it. Each presentation goes a bit better. I know I am good and I can do it."

It is important to pay attention to the quality of your thoughts, because they determine how you feel during the day, how well you perform and how well you sleep at night. What positive thinking can do is to get you into the right frame of mind, to demonstrate your skills to the best of your advantage while you stay calm and focused. When you are relaxed you are likely to deal with problems more effectively and constructively. So a positive outlook is a must. When you think and tell yourself that you can, you will, and you must, notice the marked difference it will make in the job that you undertake.


Positive thoughts: Once you undertake a task tell yourself positive thoughts about:

You as a person:


I am good
I can cope
I am better than a whole lot of people
I can do this
Its not that bad after all
I have done more difficult things before
Use mental mantra's " I will…., I can…"
I am the best and I will achieve it
I can influence my destiny
I look and feel good
I enjoy my own company
I can succeed

About specific events:


I will succeed in this presentation
People will listen to me in this meeting
I am a little nervous, but I will relax
I can make a difference
I will achieve the result I want
I can win
Now get working and see the difference it will make in your life and work. Start now and get results today, for tomorrow might be too late.

Dealing With Post Pregnancy Stress

The wait is over. After nine long months of waiting and watching, dreaming and hoping, your bundle of joy has finally arrived in this world and in your life. Only to turn it topsy-turvy. Welcome to the world of nappies and diapers, sleepless nights and bawling infants. In short, coping with the initial phase of motherhood will be quite demanding and exhausting and may result in irritability, mood swings and stress.

However, tackling post pregnancy stress is not such a daunting task. Here are some expert tips to help you cope with motherhood blues:

1. Catch up on sleep: The first casualty after the baby is going to be your sleep. Most babies are nocturnal creatures and keep awake at night. So what do you do? Set 2 hours in the day when somebody else can look after your baby while you catch up on your much craved for sleep. Try and make this a daily routine and you will find yourself fresh and happy.

2. Involve your husband: Actively involve your spouse in bringing up the baby. At the beginning he may feel apprehensive or even uncomfortable handling such a small and fragile being, but he will soon get used to it. Let him cradle the baby, try and put him/her to sleep and gradually learn how to change the diaper too.

3. Fix a time for guests: A new baby is the center of attraction and all your friends and relatives will want to come and see the new arrival. But do not encourage guests in the afternoon. Use this time to rest and if possible make the baby sleep during the afternoon. You will find that resting post lunch will revive your spirits and make you feel energetic.

4. Relax with music: Put on your favorite music and just relax. Listening to soft soothing music is a panacea for stress-related problems. And your baby too will love to listen to soft melodious tunes.

5. Talk to friends: Talking and sharing all your emotions is a great stressbuster. The first couple of months will be a new experience for you and one that will test your nerves. The baby may fall sick, may refuse to feed, and will cry for long without you being able to understand what the matter is. Talking to a friend who has undergone all this will help you deal with the situation better. Even otherwise, just sharing your woes will make you feel much lighter.

6. Pamper yourself: There is nothing like a luxurious massage to soothe those frayed nerves. Go in for a real refreshing aromatherapy massage or bath and feel the difference.

7. Walk your blues away: Walking will not only revive your tired spirits and body but will get you back in shape as soon as possible. Take the baby along in a pram so that he/she too can breathe in the fresh air and be close to nature.

8. Do some yoga or meditation. Yoga is a great exercise as well as helps in relaxation. Of course, limit yourself to asanas that are easy and not so strenuous. Meditation too will help you relax and stay focused.

9. Talk to your baby. Gurgle and coo with your baby and slowly start talking to your little one. This will help you forge a bond as strong as steel.

10. Let things be: Don't try to be superhuman. If the house is a bit messy then let it be or give others a chance to do something. Just concentrate on the baby, relax and enjoy this time to the full.

Above all, remember to give yourself time and deal with everything patiently. Instead of getting bogged down by all the strains and pressures of post pregnancy, enjoy this time and make the most of it.

Stress Management: Thought Stopping

You've heard the old saying, 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Modify it and you'll get, 'All stress and no relaxation makes Jack a dead guy.' Yes it's true that stress can sometimes lead to life-threatening consequences. But the brutal truth is that in today's competitive world, stress has become unavoidable.


Talking about stress always reminds me of my friend Sona. She has a tendency to get worried and anxious about every little thing. Once that happens, her mind works overtime thinking of every possible disaster that could happen. Her thoughts range from "I have to complete this work today ... or else my boss will get mad at me ... and if I loose my job it will be awful ... I wonder if my marriage would survive tough times. Times are bad ... & so on."


A recent international survey on worry showed that 40 per cent of the time we worry about things which never happen; 30 per cent about things that are over; 12 per cent are needless health worries & 10 per cent are miscellaneous worries. Only a marginal eight per cent of our worries are legitimate. However, if you are caught in the vortex of worry, there is hope. Start practicing thought stopping, part of a technique of behavioral therapy that is helpful in dealing with the problem of continuous and upsetting thoughts.

It can be practiced by doing any of the following: Say STOP aloud to yourself, wear a rubber band around your wrist pull it hard and leave it, pinch yourself unobtrusively or dig your fingernails into the palms of your hand.

Thought Stopping
This technique requires time, patience and constant practice. Thoughts don't go away easily. So as soon as you encounter a difficult thought, interrupt it constantly as this will lead to a gradual decrease in their frequency & eventually they will go away. Initially, select thoughts that are not too stressful graduate on to the more stressful ones and slowly you will master the technique. Besides thought stopping, you can practice the following steps to control your negative thoughts:

1. Imagine the forthcoming event: From your past experience you can figure out how a particular event or the person concerned affected you and in what way.
2. Specify goal: Define the problem and work out all the details. Prepare in advance how to handle criticism without getting upset.
3. Rehearse before the event: If you rehearse thoroughly you can make sure to give a faultless performance.
4. Give yourself a break with pleasurable activities: While preparing for a stressful activity take a break. Go for a walk, listen to music etc.
5. Prepare for the worst: Think of the worst that can happen and ways of coping with it.
6. Relax before the event: Just before the event relax, take a slow deep breath, unclench your jaws and fists, relax your shoulders, uncross your legs and allow your entire body to relax.
7. Expect some stress: A small amount of stress enhances performance.
8. Take time to recover: When the stressful event is over; relax completely.


Once you manage to control your negative thoughts, your life will be stress-free.