"Diagnosed for bipolar 7 years ago - was put on prozac, zoloft, lithium, depakote, ritalin and other drugs over a four year period"

Diagnosed for bipolar 7 years ago - was put on prozac, zoloft, lithium, depakote, ritalin and other drugs over a four year period - all with side effects. Did the normal 6-8 week withdrawal and became suicidal. Last medication the pdoc gave was paxil. One evening I forgot to take dosage, woke up in the morning with hand paralysis (I am a professional violinist, BIG TERROR). Took paxil and within 20 minutes could bend fingers. Rapid and mixed cycling became worse to the point that I finally told the pdoc I wanted off - he agreed that I was having an extreme reaction to this drug. After a month the depression got worse and then had a major rapid cycling event in an hour - knew that this drug was bad news. That night began night terrors, slept 1.5-3 hours per night for a month. GI tract stopped functioning, had to eat rice, broth, steamed veggies. If I ate anything solid, it came through the intestines solid (sorry for the graphic detail but true). Would wake up in the middle of the night in hysteria. Then my legs would feel as if they were hooked up to an electrical battery - could feel energy going down legs like what you would see in the old Frankenstein movies. I knew this was dangerous because my mother, who was also bipolar, died in withdrawal from other medications in the early 80's and had the same reactions the month before she died (heart stopped from exhaustion). Worst part was, because of exhaustion, lost temper with colleague because of my terror and his insensitivity to how sick I was (he had been support person). He filed grievance, suspended from work, had breakdown while pdoc out of country. This was all 2 years ago in February. I am just now starting to be "normal" though the pdoc now has diagnosed me as having Postraumatic Stress Disorder from what I experienced. I am using bodywork/massage therapy, polarity therapy, ayurvedic medicine all under the supervision of the same pdoc. He has told me that I am doing incredibly well. I actually think that I am LESS depressed than ever!

-- submitted by Orty, 47

"i started taking Paxil at 17 years old along with lithium for bi polar"

i feel better to know that i am not the only "prisoner of paxil". i started taking it at 17 years old along with lithium for bi polar. honestly, i don't remember any extreme changes in my mood, i know the lithium helped. paxil seemed to allow me to see the gray in situations, it sort of numbed me a little. it had less of a strong effect than any other meds i had been on so i continued to take it until about two weeks ago. i got off cold turkey, ignoring what the doctor said. i regret ever being on it. the way i feel now is horrible. pains inside my ears occur off an on, dizziness, sensitivity to sunlight, over emotional etc. but the side effect that is most bothering me is a continuous head buzz, like a headache, but it doesn't hurt. what is feels like is a sharp fast rush in my head, it sounds almost like a helicopter in the distance. it feels like a constant hangover, without the pain. they are these real strong waves in the top of my head that occur every five to ten minutes,strong at first and then they fizzle out. they are worse when i haven't eaten, or slept enough. they continue all day, i cant stand them it feels like im on acid almost. i keep thinking that maybe im pregnant but after reading some of the symptoms other people have had maybe it is paxil, i don't know, someone please tell me if there is anything NON ADDICTIVE i can take to feel normal again. emotionally im really not doing that bad in fact i feel a little better off of it, but i cant stand walking around everyday with a throbbing head. honestly it feels like your head feels when you are extremely over tired. someone, anyone, relate? i need to feel better.

-- submitted by yippyskippy, 21