"My boss is always picking on me, my colleagues think I am footloose and fancy free, I am always discriminated against because of my sex, my views are often ignored… all this because I am single and working…oh the travails of a single working woman."
Is this your story? Today, as more and more women aspire for top positions, social and gender prejudices have become all the more glaring. So what are you doing about it? Suffering in silence and being victimised for no reason, or taking some proactive steps to counter the critics. There's no law that says that you can't be single and working and happy, all at the same time. Here's how to get started:
1. Get Organised
Organise your work in such a way that nobody ever gets a chance to point fingers at you. You will feel a spurt of new confidence creeping in and people will start respecting you. Follow the dictum 'People get to you only if you let them' so it is all in your hands. Don't give anybody a chance to say anything by keeping yourself updated and organized.
2. Be Assertive
Learn to stand up for yourself and assert your views. You are a mature young woman of the 21st century who wants to make her own space in the professional world, so don't take everything lying down? Charge forward, air your thoughts and opinions, make your presence felt by sheer dint of hard work and your intelligence. Assert yourself when you know you are right and just watch the balance tilt in your favour.
3. Learn to ignore
Turn a blind eye to things that don't affect you directly and you will be better off. Remember ignorance is bliss. Of course, don't make this a universal rule.
4. Speak your mind
Remember people will take advantage of you if you let them, so sit up and speak your mind. Nothing and nobody can stop you if you are in the right. Only don't be rude or step on anybody's toes! Be soft spoken and amiable and if you are right, you will be heard.
5. Say NO when you have to
Learn to say NO. There is absolutely no need to accept social invitations from colleagues or requests to finish off somebody else's work. If you always feel cornered into agreeing to some issues, remember that it is in your hands to not get cornered.
6. Confront the culprits
If somebody in the office is trying to act funny or get too close, be it the boss or a colleague, tell them frankly that it is in bad taste. Being single does not mean that you are fair game. If you feel that there are hands brushing against you or some one forever banging into you then it is time to confront them. Just tell them to watch where they are going and to keep their hands in their pockets loud enough so that the entire staff hears you!
7. Don't get involved in office politics
Colleagues might try to involve you in office politics and groupism, but the best policy is to stay neutral. Avoid gossip and gossipmongers and concentrate on your work.
8. Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and leverage them to your advantage. Work on your weaknesses and gradually improve them.
9. Always look confident
Always have an air of confidence about you even if you are all jittery inside. Only beware of not being overconfident!
10. Be proud of yourself
Last but not the least, be proud of what and who you are. You are a beautiful, intelligent, single woman determined to create your own niche in today's world. So just stay focused, go ahead and do it!
Think of Indira Gandhi, Margret Thatcher, Benazir Bhutto - three women of steel who fought against all odds and changed the face of history. If they could do it, so can you!
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