SLOW TALK ("CALM" TALK)
Strategy: Slow talk is nothing more than slowing your speech down very slightly. You are slowing down enough that you notice the change in your speaking rhythm. The change is so slight, however, that other people will not notice you have slowed down. Slow talk is nothing more than slowing your speech down very slightly. You are slowing down enough that you notice the change in your speaking rhythm. The change is so slight, however, that other people will not notice you have slowed down.
It is important to be as calm as possible while you are in the process of learning new ways of thinking and new strategies of acting. Remember that it takes 45-55 days of repetition before your brain starts to automatically use these strategies.
And notice that the only way your brain is going to be able to use these anti-anxiety strategies is if you are consistent and persistent and drop down these techniques into your brain over and over again... for the entire course of therapy.
The first benefit you may discover from using this technique is that it will be easier to remain calm and at peace while you do your therapy. The more you can slow talk the therapy into your brain, the easier and deeper it will get in.
As you become more familiar with the strategy and feel like you can use it in public, you will find it has great practical value in slowing you down so that you can begin to control your anxiety level. If you stay in slow talk mode, there is not much chance you can speed up, get the adrenalin pumping, and then become socially anxious. So, slow talk can prevent us from getting as socially anxious as we used to get.
Another benefit that people usually notice is that there is a slight relaxation while you're using slow talk.
Generally, as a deliberate result of slow talk, the muscles loosen up and are less tight, and many people feel a calmness or relaxation in the shoulders and upper back area where we tend to carry around much of our stress.
The more you have the ability to use slow talk, the more you will feel in control of situations. Slow talk is not something we want to do all the time, but while we are getting better, we want to be able to use this tool as an option to help us lower our social anxiety whenever we need to.
In public situations - the use of slow talk makes it easier to sound and be less anxious, and helps the words to come out more logically and clearly. High anxiety over real-world situations like this can be controlled by slow talk.
Now, please don't jump the gun. In your first week of practicing this technique, do not move this out into real-world settings yet. It is much more important to practice slow talk when you are by yourself. It is important to get it down deeply into your brain. It is important that you feel comfortable in doing it. You need to feel OK with slow talk before you ever try it out in a public situation.
So, generally, this first week, we ask you to practice slow talk for about ten minutes a day. You can read anything you want, but it generally helps to read something positive or inspirational. It isn't important what you read, the therapy is doing the slow talk. You are practicing the slow talk, not the material you choose to read.
One of our women worked in a large advertising agency where concepts and ideas were important, and she felt that no one paid her ideas very much attention. Every time she had a good idea, she would excitedly and quickly blurt it out, expecting other people to be excited, too. Instead, they just looked at her like she was weird, and they ignored her.
When this woman started using slow talk, she brought it to work with her. By this time, she was feeling comfortable with the process, and although some anxiety was involved, when it came her turn to share her new ideas, she switched over into slow talk and calmly and rationally gave her ideas to the assembled group. What happened next surprised her a great deal...
Once you learn to slow talk, you no longer will feel rushed and anxious, you can move on into your message sure you're staying calm and focused, and present a talk that everyone understands. In public, social situations like this, slow talk can be a very effective and powerful tool in decreasing anxiety and increasing clarity.
Almost everyone I've worked with has been able to pull a lot out of this technique. But keep in mind it takes practice first - when you're alone. When you do start to use this in public, we want to start out small - talking to one person, such as a friend or relative for example. We do not want to use slow talk in a gut-wrenching anxiety situation until we are ready for it.
It is important that we do things slowly, on a small scale, feel the success behind it at this point, and then move it up gradually to other situations.
And remember this is just one technique. We will be continually adding to these methods with each and every handout. Then, each and every technique will have the "synergistic" effect of strengthening the others.
The more you practice, the more results you will see.
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